Dear Torrie Birthday Edition

Dear Torrie,

Today is your first birthday- and what a rewarding first it is, from 3 pounds to 25 pounds you certainly have grown alot.

This is you today, on your first day of being one years old, you woke up bright and early, you ate breakfast and we put your special birthday outfit on today for school. We brought Popsicles to school for all your friends. They were the Dora kind, and they were slow melt, so all you babies can eat them outside in your diapers and have a great time. unfortunately you are sick again, but it wouldn't be a holiday if you weren't sick. At Christmas you had RSV at Easter you had some infection going on, then you had that 104 fever going on for days. Boy Torrie you really made this year a roller coaster ride.
Your father wrote you a letter, it was probably the nicest letter hes ever written, I asked him to write you a letter before you were born for your baby book but he didn't, but he did now a year and four months later. here it is, although I've already printed it for your baby book.

Dear Torrie Marie Handy

It's been a long year for you being premature and dealing with a drunk dad the first couple of months .. but as father and daughter the love definitely grew, you make me smile as much as I make you smile, I feel the bond you will have for me as you grow, I'm so grateful to have you and I hope you grow to be like your mother, commitment ....your mother's favorite word she's an angel..I remember when your mother pushed you out in 2 seconds at Yale hospital you were so small, we didn't hear you cry we were worried but what we found out was that love overpowers everything you were laying in the nicu for a month your so strong, your lungs collapsed multiple times you were tired but the love me and your mother had to give to you kept you alive, you knew we were there for you.., I'm so proud of your progression your so beautiful and smart you are the best thing to happen to me. I don't remember life before you ....HAPPY 1ST Birthday. .I Love You with all my heart.

You are such a special girl loved by everyone, and when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE.
when you were born people sent you gifts and get well wishes, we received donations and cards from people we never even met before, everyone wanted to bless you for the gift that you are to us, we have never been more grateful then when we saw how many people were rooting for your life last June.
When you came home everyone thought you were so beautiful, how can a beautiful girl go thru something so traumatic, so heartbreaking, so scary! Easy, God put you here for a reason, God made you strong and willing, he made you have strength to overcome, he made you ready to be here on this earth! and he made your father and I ready/blessed to be your parents.
Now that its your birthday, the gifts have begun again, strangers are celebrating that you! a baby they will probably never ever meet is celebrating your first year of life! unbelievable, you have impacted so many people to get involved and to be compassionate and caring.

So Torrie, as you make this transition from infant to toddler mommy will help you grow, just as i did from newborn to infant i will guide you every step of the way, I will never let anyone bring you down and I will always encourage good skills and motivation. I am ready to be your mother, I am ready to be your guide thru life and God dammit, I am blessed and proud to do so!

Torrie what good has my life become since you were born, you make me want to be better, you make me want to succeed in life, I'm just so happy to be your mom.

Let's see Torrie, on a lighter note, what are you up to these days!

-you are crawling faster
-you are walking while pushing something (which is not quite perfected, actually its not perfected at all)
-you are curious about everything! you peek in everything and have to touch everything!
-you are mimicking faces and movements we make
-you are trying to talk- or at least make the sounds of what we are saying
-you LOVE your owl
-you love to eat and we are giving you lots of new things to try everyday
-you still like to be held alot
-you have no "inside voice" everything you say is extra loud
-you still sleep 6pm-6am and you stink at napping but that's okay
-you love to go to school, you love to see your friends
-you LOVE music, just like daddy

see Torrie- you have grown so much, I cannot believe that I have blinked my eyes and you are now one, i still remember the day I had you, I still remember sitting in my hospital room straightening my hair and eating cheeseburgers off the hospital menu, I still remember your first night, and the second and the day i had to leave you there I cried and cried and cried but I told myself it was the best thing for you.

before I end, I have one more crazy story to tell you.
In the nights leading up til your birth and  a few nights after there were terrible, and i mean terrible thunder lightening storms, and I was very scared the hospital was going to collapse and be struck by lightening, so i had a master plan to run to the NICU and get you and take you home with me.
well, obviously that never happened but now you know how crazy I am!

I cant wait for your party, I hope you have the time of your life, mommy put alot of effort into making a special day for you, so I hope it all goes smoothly, and I can go back to having a full night's sleep again.
Tomorrow is your physical so I will update about how much you weigh and what the doctor says.

I love you with all my heart, to the moon and back, more than bacon and eggs and cheesy bread!

love  you baby girl,
mom

 Ready for school today!! Birthday Girl!

playing with your first birthday girl bear