Friday Letters

Dear Torrie,

I dont know why my letters always start with you, I guess because your always the first and last thing on my mind and everything else is just mixed in the middle. So, my question is WHY ARE YOUR SLEEP HABITS ALL MESSED UP! I just cant deal, one morning you sleep normal the next we are up at dead time 3am. Im getting discumbobulated completely!

Love,
Mom

Dear Yale NH hospital,

you're dumb, the anesthesia appointment was all but worthless, we totally could have had a phone conversation. Hopefully your staff is plesant on tuesday for torrie's surgery OR i might have to whoop some hossy ass.

Sinceraly,
Disgruntled mom

Dear work,

are we done yet this week? I cant take much more of you, luckily I will be out most of next week taking care of Torrie, and although I wont be getting paid I still dont really think I care.

with sincerest love,
Employee.

Dear God,

please take care of my baby while shes under the knife on tuesday, I know its minor but I'm a mom, its my job to worry.

Love,
Sam

Dear Weight,

I know ive been bingeing but please stay where you are, dont go up, I promise I will treat you well soon.

-Hopelessly Overweight


Dear Paranormal state,

Im obsessed with watching your show on Netflix, and I love chasing ghosts with you, but I still get nightmares, I think someones eating my binge food at night, damn those ghosts, please tone it down a notch or ill have to tune you out.

See ya!
-Avid Ghost Hunter.