Struggling

I am really struggling with this whole baby growing up thing.
I just cant believe in two weeks my beautiful 3 lb 8oz preemie will be one year old.
She is just Amazing.
I'm watching her learn so many new things, and react to the things I say, and understand certain words.
Sometimes I rock her, I try not to rock her to sleep too much because I don't want her to get into a bad habit, but sometimes I just want to hold her, when shes nice and quiet and we can just rest.
Last night we got home late from her dads house, she was having a hard time settling down so i just held her in my lap. she was giggling at me and smiling, and I just stared at her face.
she is so pretty, and her face is changing, shes starting not to have that round baby face but more of a shape and looks more like a toddler. this really made me sad, I just wanted to hold that moment, so she didnt get any bigger and smarter, and just freeze time. Where did this year go?
I spent so much time worrying about her health, her breathing, her milestones, her eating, her illnesses, her doctors appts, her bills, her daycare, her clothes and diapers and wipes and formula, and now here I sit, enjoying this one moment, where all the others are a distant memory, and we move on with a new relationship thats growing older and becoming different and closer.

Im just in awe that this is it, her big day is near and I wont have a "baby" anymore.