Dear Torrie

Dear Torrie,

Today you are 11 months old. I cannot believe it. I feel like just yesterday I was sitting in the nicu, holding you in that uncomfortable rocking chair all day, reading my parenting magazines and holding your teeny tiny hand. I remember you flinching in your little incubater everytime I spoke to you, I remember the first time you tried to open your eyes, I remember your first gummy smile, and I remember all the scary things the doctors said *might* happen to you but never did.
I also remember your first day home, it was spectacular. Mommy went and got you all by herself. It was scary. I so wanted it to be like a baby story when mom and dad came and got you together and mommy sat in the backseat to make sure you were okay, but that wasnt going to happen regardless, and daddy had to work that day at his new job. So, I buckled you in nice and tight, with all your brand new things, Geez, you smelled so good like a brand new baby, But you were so so small at 4lbs! I was scared. I swore at every jerk that drove by. And finally we made it home, and just like that, I was lost in a world of love with you, But i also didnt know what to do with you!!
we made it thru several months together, I swear you slept thru it all, but i dressed you everyday like we were going to a party and i took pictures all the time, I stared at you and held you close, and I vowed never to let you be that far away from me ever again.
BOY do I regret that!! you love me, and I love you, but lord child you dont let me go two feet away! But secretly I love it, I absolutely love it and I wouldnt trade it for the world.
But what i WOULD trade, are the beautiful giggles and ear to ear smiles that you give daddy, darn it torrie, why do i get all the crying and hugs! I want smiles! i do the dirty jobs! I wake up in the morning with you!! But thats okay, I know you love us both the same, after all you cant get rid of us anyway.

So, now at 11 months, you are doing everything and MORE that they told us you wouldnt do!
heres what you do:

• You crawl, sometimes normal, sometimes with one leg out like a banchie.
• you sit up, but not like everyone else does, you do it backwards but it works for you so thats just as good in my book!!
• you eat solid food! your favorite is chicken and chicken nuggets, you gobble it up faster then I can make it.
• You also love yogies (yogurt) as soon as you see the package you get soooooo excited, its almost freakish.
• You had your first macaroni and meatballs with italian bread last night and you ate so much I had to take it away from you cause I thought you might get sick!
• You pull to stand! I cant believe it, you pull youself up on anything you can get too, I think walking might be in your near future!
• You also let go, this scares me, it also gives you lots of bruises, so please stop doing this until you can support yourself.
• you call me gaga, which is remotely close to mama, but still, you shouldnt be even talking yet.
• you like to sing, and boy do you get your talent from me!
• you follow olly (the dog) around and try to do everything he does, you both even fight over the same toys.
• you are outgoing and you LOVE going to school (daycare) as soon as I pull in you scream with excitement!
• you dont sit still. this is great at times, at others I must lecture you to stay put until i just get something really quick. please listen, it will make for a nicer smoother morning from now on.

My dear beautiful baby,
the other night when I sat holding you in my arms trying to rock you to sleep, I cried. your head is taller then my arms, and your legs hand over my lap, you are almost too big to rock. (after all I am a tiny girl LOL) I just cannot believe how big youve gotten, I cannot believe how many obstacles you have beaten, and proven wrong. I am just so proud of you, I will always be so proud of you, and you will always be my baby.

I hope that you read this many years from now, and even if i turn out to be a horrible mom, and give you loads of hell as a teenager, you will know how much i truely love you and cannot live without you.

Love always,
Mommy

you with your BFF olly on 5/6/12

and here is your footprint at one month old. still smaller then my pointer finger.