Now, I never thought Torrie would do things normal, theres always a chance of things developmentally being wrong with preemies, when we got past the fright of having cerebral palsy, I generally thought we were out in the clear, and I was happily raising my child.
But how dare I believe there are no other evils out there to confront my baby, how dare I stay naive to all the possibilities that are out there.
Torrie has been in physical therapy for her first year, since she came home from the NICU. generally I'm okay with these girls that come and see her, they are very nice. there is one in particular who I do not like. She points out everything Torrie does wrong and doesn't back it up with a positive
(this makes me feel like shit. I would like for her to say, "well she should have her leg tucked under more, but her hands are positioned great and she is making fantastic progress") nothing of the sort ever comes out of her mouth, its always rude and sounds condescending like i don't know what she means.
she also has no sense of humor, she takes everything i say literally. this is annoying.
and lastly she scares the shit out of me with her
Ive just been so happy with Torrie lately, she is saying mama and dada and shes just progressing with eating and drinking from a straw and crawling and standing and everything else.
this woman came over today and rocked my world. and I don't mean in bed, or in a good way.
she told me that Torrie shouldn't be standing on her toes still (i know this but she refuses to believe its a work in progress) she said she shouldnt do this rocking thing when shes excited, she said these are signs of a sensory motor development problem.
HOLD THE MOTHER FUCKING PHONE HERE.
is this a joke? this woman really wants me to get her fired. Really, because I'm about to make my fourth complaint about her.
I just I just. no. Torrie does not have that issue.
the only thing i know about it is that its on the autism spectrum. the other thing i know is that i refuse to google it.
and I refuse to believe she has it.
i don't even know what to say, this does not change how i feel about my child,
this changes the fact that i was partially over my guilt of giving birth at 30 weeks and now, that's gone. i feel like shit, i feel like a horrible mother, and I feel like I need to call her pediatrician and have her evaluated by a second opinion.
and I seriously think that this woman is wrong.
now i should say she did not say Torrie had it, she said that if she doesn't grow out of it in the next couple months or when she starts full on walking, then we will have to evaluate further.
THAT. does not work for me, I cannot sit here waiting for Torrie to walk and not know if this child needs more help, does she need special things.
I cant, I cannot do this, I am not a good enough mom to handle this. I just need to hold my child and apologize.
I just cant deal.
Talked to my physical therapy friend about this one. She says she can't say without seeing the child, but knowing when Torrie started crawling and understanding her story, she will grow out of this soon. Some physicaltherapists think they are helping by telling you what you COULD POSSIBLY anticipate. She also believes this is thoughtless and not helpful. Have faith that Torrie is working this out on her own time. Give her another month to get this walking thing down. I get the story that most preemies dont even walk until 15-16 months so she is way ahead of it.
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